I’m sorry you’re going through this. Infertility sucks! I’m here if you need! I want to support you through your fertility journey!
Want more advice? Hear from Chelsea and her wise words below.
Reaching out to the fertility warriors in your life goes a long way. Doing activities that doesn’t involve children, pregnancies and treatments is easier than you might think!
- See a movie
- Send a Fertility Friendly gift
- Taking a walk together
- Go buy a beautiful bunch of flowers together
- If your Fertility Warrior is up for some alcohol, a pub or bar is a great escape!
- Check out some local markets, art exhibition/gallery
"When I told my friend we were doing IVF she took it upon herself to learn everything she could about the process so that the next time we spoke she understood what we were going through which was a really beautiful moment. It warmed my heart that someone cared that much."
"when someone just simply lets me know they are thinking of me"
"My SIL sent me a block of chocolate a week, in the four weeks of IVF"
"Friends dropping off flowers and chocolates at our front door after a miscarriage. Definitely felt the love. It made the whole process more bearable and sure helped me move on! And then the next cycle my little boy was conceived. So I'd like to think that all the love pouring in helped conceive him"
Whilst you may not always know when and how to Support the Infertility Warrior in your life, you may be surprised that they dont always know either!
We encourage you to ask if it’s ok to ask.
For example “would you mind if i asked you about your ttc journey?” Or
“I was wondering if it’s ok for me to ask you how your ttc journey is going?”
(Special note : I’ve thrown in TTC in the question because your warrior is likely to be impressed that you know the main acronym in their life)
Theres a long list of what doesn’t help but here are some handy hints :
- The R word (relax) is never what a ttc’er wants to hear. Instead try asking about what things your warrior is doing for themselves during their journey. You may be able to help them with this one.
- Buying a dog or a going holiday is not what a specialist will prescribe for infertility and neither should you. Instead try to acknowledge the greatness of the financial component of your warriors journey.
- Your friends-cousins-bestfriends-wife Betty might be an amazing hope story in your world, but not so in your warriors world. Try to provide hope and encouragement in other avenues.
- Silence is deafening, if you’re not reaching out because you don’t know what to say or how to help , we encourage you to let your warrior know that, but please stay in contact. It can feel lonely enough, without the deafening sounds of friends and family retreating far away from your infertility warrior.
- If adoption is a topic your infertility warrior would like to raise then chat away, but it can be unkind for you to mention or suggest adoption, unless it’s that you’re sharing your own news of adoption of a fur child.
- This may sound obvious but offeringing your children up or suggesting that your warrior “wouldn’t want the <insert gripe, such as crazy hormones, sleepless nights or crying babies> “ is a huge no-no. It happens a lot so if you think you’ve suggested this to your warrior, they probably haven’t forgotten and it’s ok to apologise for what you didn’t know - in fact they will likely really appreciate it.